Sex Tech

Written by Jacques

Siren is a new dating application that claims to put women in charge of the dating scene. Calling itself "socially evolved" Siren was featured on CNN...

sirenSiren is a new dating application that claims to put women in charge of the dating scene. Calling itself "socially evolved" Siren was featured on CNN as a new site that lets "women call the shots." The makers of Siren hope to create a new way for single men and women to interact... we presume they don't mean by allowing women to lure men to their doom. 



Why Women Just Can't Get a Break in Dating (Really!)

Both men and women seem to think that they have the worst of the online dating scene, but as with most things, the truth is somewhere in between. Let's face it: most people are jerks and developing a real, human connection means occasionally looking up from the desperate glow of your smartphone or computer screen.

Men almost never receive unsolicited messages from women, casting out endless telegrams into an unfeeling sea of profile pictures and quirky-cute tag lines. On the other hand, women are bombarded with dozens or even hundreds of messages a day, ranging from "Hey" to "Wanna bang?" to, yes, the infamous unsolicited "dick pic." 

Spend a few minutes talking to a woman about online dating, and you'll hear a hundred and one horror stories, ranging from the guy who stalked her dog's Facebook page to the dude who threatened her life because she failed to respond to him within a few seconds. Neither gender seems to know how to interact with the other properly -- so how is Siren going to resolve a problem that has existed for literally thousands of years?

How Siren Claims to Revolutionize Dating

In Siren, there are daily questions that are answered by everyone, and everyone within your location can view your responses. Basically, it's an interview process... except for a partner for the rest of your life. And it's not a one-on-one process, it's more like those multiple-level-marketing interview scams that you get conned into attending in college. 

Still, it ultimately saves on time. The questions that men answer are used to create a profile of sorts that women can look at, eventually giving women an idea of who they are and what their personality is like. At least, theoretically. In practice, many of the questions are along the veins of "What is your favorite color?" and "What adjectives would you use to describe yourself?"

But that's not the biggest problem.

Proof in the Pudding: The Siren in Action

Not content to be swayed by mere marketing (we're independent thinkers) we tried the Siren application ourselves. The first thing we noticed is that there's definitely a reason that Siren highlights relationships between men and women: it only supports heterosexual relationships. Come on, Siren -- what are you, eHarmony? 

The second thing that we noticed is that the app is incredibly buggy on iOS: it doesn't register most interactions that involve touch. (Much like our last date -- ba-dum-tish.) The third thing we noticed is that the app was empty: there was no one available within 200 miles of our Midwest test location. And yes, it's true, it's the Midwest, but we still expected at least one lone sailor.

That's not to say that the app doesn't do what it says it does. There are more individuals in the major metropolitan areas, such as New York and Los Angeles. The posted questions had a clean interface and clearly were designed to prompt some discussion, almost in a sort of YikYak call-and-response format. And one thing we did really like is that there was a "privacy" setting: you can hide your profile picture from anyone until you "like" them, thereby keeping your identity as safe as you desire. Perfect for those still in witness protection, but seeking that special someone. 

As with many things in life, the problem isn't the idea: it's the implementation. As of yet, Siren doesn't have a significant user base: it's all crickets and dust bunnies. The fact is that most women don't want more control in the dating scene: they just want complete psychopaths to stop messaging them. Which is a new idea for a dating site altogether: roll in some background tests and some personal references and maybe you've got something worth marketing.


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