Veronika here! I'm back in my little corner of the interwebs at Sex-Press-Release.com and ready to tackle your most intimate, silly or embarrassing questions about sex and any sex related topics you might think up! Ready to shoot me your questions? Just comment down below and I'll be sure to put it in the queue so I can answer it as soon as possible. I love love love hearing from my readers and thrive on the back and forth interactions I have with them! I invite you to join me today! Now let's get started with our question for today!
Veronika here! I'm back in my little corner of the interwebs at Sex-Press-Release.com and ready to tackle your most intimate, silly or embarrassing questions about sex and any sex related topics you might think up! Ready to shoot me your questions? Just comment down below and I'll be sure to put it in the queue so I can answer it as soon as possible. I love love love hearing from my readers and thrive on the back and forth interactions I have with them! I invite you to join me today! Now let's get started with our question for today!
Dear Veronika, I'm an anthropology major at a major university here in the United States. In my many hours of research, a curious realization has started to dawn on me. I'm not sure which society starting pushing the idea way back when, but I don't think monogamy is a natural state of being for people. Many of my friends look at me in horrified wonder when I say that. What say you about this possibility? Lee Anne
Lee Anne, this is a topic that I find highly fascinating and I, too, have done a fair bit of research about it -- both during my college career as well as on my own. From the basic survival standpoint, it makes sense that humans are not monogamous. Otherwise, it is likely that the species would have died out long ago without the efforts of many males to spread their seed far and wide. Many other mammals are not monogamous either, pretty much for that same reason.
The Good And The Improvment
Of course, we are way beyond animals when it comes to developing strategies that ensure the longevity of humans. We are so good at it that there are now more than 7 billion of us on the planet so I don't think we are in any danger of dying out anytime soon. From a very simplistic view, this explosion in population seems like a good vote for monogamy, but it is, in reality, a poster child for why we need to improve access to birth control on a global level.
This rather simple way of looking at the issue doesn't take into account the emotional side either. Supposedly, monogamy was developed as a method of ensuring that a woman's children would be taken care of way back when. Having the man go out and hunt or work freed the woman to up to focus on keeping the children alive. This argument is no longer valid, though, as more women not only enter the workforce, but make a darn good living at it as well. And, of course, our medical advances and things like childcare do a bang-up job of keeping kids healthy and happy.
No One Is Perfection
The real emotional side is this: people change. We are all changing every day. Many of these changes might not be huge so they can be hard to notice sometimes. And they might be as simple as realizing that you do like brussel sprouts after all in spite of years of trying to feed them to the dog as a child. The person that you meet and that is perfect for you today could be the one that only satisfies one aspect of your personality next month or next year. Should you give up that person and hope to find someone who meets every one of your criteria? Or should you just be happy with having only one or two of your needs being met on a regular basis?
My vote is to enjoy monogamy as long as it works for both partners. If it doesn't at some point, be open to exploring other options. Don't dismiss ideas such as an open relationship or marriage. Contrary to popular belief, these relationships aren't always about seeing how many different people you can fuck before coming home to bone your significant other -- though this outdated picture is finally changing somewhat.
In short, monogamy is not natural for many people. I mean, who can stand to be with the same person day in and day out without getting sick of each other? Apparently I can't and neither can millions of others if the rates of cheating are any indication. And what happened to variety being the spice of life and all that jazz??
Share with me! Tell me about your success with monogamy, open relationships or anything else that you want to explore! Comment below and let's get the convo started!