Thanks to the internet, there's no shortage of people finding new ways to succeed in the sex industry these days.
Thanks to the internet, there's no shortage of people finding new ways to succeed in the sex industry these days. DIY amateur porn, BDSM meetup groups, cam-girls, sugar babies... it's a veritable smorgasbord of gorgeous, sex-obsessed men and women on near-demand. The world of fetishes has exploded due to the ease of anonymous communication between parties, and the vanilla world has come to know all kinds of astonishing sexual proclivities over which to titter and gossip (and secretly try). And yet, there are still plenty of these communities that are unfamiliar and taboo to most. Balloon or hiccup fetishists, for example. No matter how bizarre, if you can imagine it, it's probably a lucrative opportunity.
The Internet Is A Smorgasbord Of Sex
Usually, fetishists exchange money for things like videos, photos or services like live camera shows. But perhaps the most shockingly direct relationship is that of financial domination (or "findom"), in which the very act of giving money or gifts to a chosen dominant party is the desired act. The overwhelming majority of dominants are female ("findommes" or "rinsers," in the UK), and the overwhelming majority of submissives are male ("paypigs"), so I'll be talking about findom here primarily as it relates to that dynamic.
You Can Find Every Fetish
On its face, it's pretty much what it sounds like: sexy women treating men like dirt and demanding money. But it's not the same as some unambitious 19-year-old who snaps butt selfies and begs dude-bros for cash. Findommes are providing a service to a consensual submissive party, with set expectations rooted in general BDSM etiquette. And it's working. I mean, really working. The job is work.
A woman who seeks entry to the secret world of findom is faced with setup, network building and verification, whether it's a pig who wants to be sure she's real or a group that requires video verification and a background check. And it's not as simple as setting up a social media account and shouting trash at men from across the internet void; depending on her tenacity and approach, a findomme may wait months before getting her first official sub and/or gift. After that, the relationship must be kept up on a regular basis, providing conversation and links to updated gift wishlists. She must also be wary of fake accounts, scams and "poachers," dommes who steal paypigs from others. Findommes also generally share a hatred of "instadommes," women (usually younger) who are clearly only out to make a quick buck. That's right: even fetishism has basic bitches.
Some Criticize It As Twisted And Strange
Of course, these women understandably face their share of criticism. Some have called the practice "twisted" and "strange," while others simply view the women as lazy, gold-digging prostitutes. The slut-shaming lumps them in with attention-seeking Instagrammers and manipulative snobs. And it's hard not to want to agree, with self-proclaimed goddesses posing sensually for the camera and bragging about gift cards, jewelry, TVs and PS4s.
It All Comes Down To Consent
As with any fetish or sex act, it comes down to consent. Serious dommes work with subs who understand the deal and give consent to be "abused" verbally and financially. If at any point the paypig wishes to stop, he may do so (pursuant to the stipulations of any legally-binding contracts in place). Despite a few exceptions, the committed majority of the community runs a marketplace much like any other: one of producers and consumers engaging in a mutually satisfying transaction. Dommes of all flavors are small business owners working hard to create income in their chosen field of sexuality. And that, not the blatant use of men for money, is what makes findom inherently feminist.