Greetings my loyal readers! In case you're new to this column, I'm Veronika and I have a long history within the sex industry. I write a frequent column for the ultra cool folks here at Sex-Press-Release.com where I field question authored by my readers.
Greetings my loyal readers! In case you're new to this column, I'm Veronika and I have a long history within the sex industry. I write a frequent column for the ultra cool folks here at Sex-Press-Release.com where I field question authored by my readers. Since Sex-Press-Release.com is a site where sex and humor are found in pretty much equal parts, you won't find a boring, rote answer emanating from my pouty lips. You also won't find me shirking from questions that others might think are taboo.Today's question is a case in point.
Dear Veronika, I feel like there may be something wrong with me, because every time I go to church, I get turned on. I even masturbated once in my car after. Do I need help? Nameless and genderless
The fact that the author of this question didn't feel like he/she could even sign it in a way that divulged a gender is telling when it comes to the sordid relationship between the church and sex. I'm not talking about when Catholic priests take advantage of their choir boys for their own power trips. Nope I mean that churches have long been the self-appointed overseers of character and respectability. If you were of high character and respectable, you didn't have sex and you certainly didn't have it with yourself out in the church parking lot after hearing the preacher speak.
Church As A Fetish
Instead this approach has made generations of sex crazy people who find their pastors' cautions of hellfire and brimstone to be the same as dirty words and heavy breathing -- enough to get them horny and barely able to get out of the building before shoving their eager fingers down their pants. While I don't think this is as common as say -- a foot fetish -- I don't think it is particularly uncommon either.
It's The Charisma
Those people behind the pulpit tend to be very charismatic and outgoing leaders who have a way of speaking that makes people listen. Typically, humans don't just listen with our ears or even our eyes. We tend to listen with every pore of our bodies and that includes our throbbing genitals as well. Many members of congregations across time have fallen in love with their church leaders so it's no surprise that this transfers to a desire to live a fantasy involving that very person.
Is It Wrong To Be Horny In Church?
So, in short, I don't think there's anything wrong with you when you get overwhelmingly horny when attending church. I do think, though, that you need to not pleasure yourself in your car anymore. Not only could there be severe legal consequences, you'll likely become a social pariah before too long. Instead, satiate your desires before attending church. Practice a little self-love earlier that morning before heading out. If you find that you still can't control yourself enough to last the entire time, consider switch religious homes for the time being to see if that helps you cool your jets.
Anyone else out there find that their religion is a source of sexual fodder for them? I'd love to hear all the juicy details! I'd also love for the original letter writer to write back and tell us how he/she is doing.